Leaving a Lasting Legacy:
What a Critical Illness
Taught a Dying Man
Leaving a Lasting Legacy:
What a Critical Illness Taught a Dying Man
Given just a few years to live, Yeo Whee Jim is determined to leave a legacy built on biblical values and which speaks of lessons he had learnt from his wife’s passing
E. Peh
It started with inexplicable muscle twitching, then difficulty with putting on a glove. While he was a little concerned, Yeo Whee Jim waved these off as tiredness or muscle strain.
But when the business consultant felt that the microphone was unusually heavy during a training workshop, he knew something was really off.
Little could have prepared the father of one for the doctor’s diagnosis:
a motor neurone disease (also known as Lou Gehrig’s disease), currently incurable. Medical records show that most patients live for two to five years after diagnosis.
a motor neurone disease (also known as Lou Gehrig’s disease), currently incurable. Medical records show that most patients live for two to five years after diagnosis.
It’s been one and a half years since the diagnosis, and the 50-year-old now needs help with feeding and toileting. A recent medical review found that his illness is progressing fast.
However, even before receiving the diagnosis, Whee Jim had already understood the brevity of life and the importance of leaving a legacy. After all, he had seen how his late wife fought stage-three breast cancer before losing the battle, six years after her initial diagnosis.
Now it was his turn to show his daughter Min, who was in her late teens, his legacy—or, in the words of Min, a life that is worth living and fighting for.
Intimate Witness of His Wife’s Legacy
Watching his late wife prioritise how and whom she spent her time with as she battled cancer had shaped Whee Jim’s perspectives about life. We really don’t have as much time as we think we have, the couple had realised. This meant that leaving a legacy became even more pertinent. It was this conviction that had compelled Whee Jim’s wife to spend her time planning and leaving a legacy for loved ones and society.
Whee Jim’s wife had made sure she left her mark, through her words and gifts, on their daughter, who was only seven years old when she passed on. She wrote letters and notes for Min’s milestones and birthdays, and invested in a financial product that continues to give Min monthly payouts today. This, Whee Jim has been reminding their daughter, is her mum’s love for her.
Whee Jim had also donated a sum of money, on behalf of his wife, to a school in Italy where she had spent some of her formative years and which now had a music room named after her. They also started a bursary for underprivileged children in their daughter’s school.
Experiencing how his wife’s legacy resounded past her lifetime, Whee Jim began to consider how his would reverberate.
Investing Time in People You Care About
But Whee Jim didn’t wait till his own diagnosis, which came some 10 years after his wife’s passing, to live life intentionally.
For one, he has no regrets about the time he has spent with Min on trips to see the world. Even during her Primary School Leaving Examination year, concerned friends asked why they were going for an overseas trip during the school holidays instead of staying home to revise for the major examinations. His decision was built on the conviction that the trips imparted to Min what could not be learnt in the classroom: a can-do spirit, a sense of adventure, an openness, and a curiosity for life. He also wanted Min to see the magnificence of God through His wonderful creation.
Whee Jim also took time to teach Min prudence in being prepared for life’s uncertainties. At age eight, she heard from her father where to find essential documents and whom to call in the event he passed away.
Even as news of Whee Jim’s illness spread within his social circle, he was inundated with messages from friends, ex-colleagues, and long-lost acquaintances expressing their concern and offering help. Many genuinely wanted to show their kindness but did not know what to do, he realised. On his part, he learnt that he needed humility to ask for help, and clarity in his requests to help others help him.
A specific offer to chauffeur him and his family when needed from an ex-colleague surprised Whee Jim. When asked about the reason behind her thoughtfulness, the ex-colleague reminded him of how he had spoken up on her behalf in front of a superior many years ago—an act of kindness she had not forgotten.
This seemingly trivial incident—that Whee Jim had no recollection of—demonstrated that kind and compassionate gestures can speak of the unknown legacy people leave in the lives of others, he concluded.
Even in this season of great physical loss, the relationships that have been rekindled and restored have brought much strength to Whee Jim.
“Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day”
(2 Corinthians 4:16).
Seeking Forgiveness and Reconciliation
Nowadays, Whee Jim repeats to the people around him a familiar refrain: “Mai tu liao”—a phrase in Hokkien (a Chinese dialect) which means “don’t delay anymore.” Particularly, he advises others not to hesitate to resolve ill-feelings.
A sermon message of forgiveness which he heard before his diagnosis had spoken right to his heart: “Forgive as the Lord forgave” (Colossians 3:13). He knew that he needed to make peace with his estranged older brother, whose behaviour due to mental illness had given much grief to Whee Jim and his parents.
After coming to terms with his brother’s affliction, Whee Jim visited his brother and took him out from his institution regularly for several years, before he couldn’t do so because of his own debilitating condition.
He reckons that his brother understands forgiveness better than him, despite Whee Jim’s bitter attitude towards him previously. His brother’s simple act of pushing a shared umbrella closer to Whee Jim spoke volumes about a love that did not keep record of wrong.
What Will We Leave Behind?
Experiencing loss and anticipating death has stirred up in Whee Jim much reflection on leaving a legacy. He has concluded this: it is not just for the rich and famous. Neither is it about material things, monuments, and money. A legacy can be sharing with another person moments and memories, whether significant or mundane. “For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it” (1 Timothy 6:7).
But, like Whee Jim, we can leave behind legacies that testify to the meaning and values that shape our lives, and how they are fortified, tested, and displayed through adversity. We can behold a vision beyond our brief breaths. Just as Psalm 39 reminds us how short and fleeting our lives are, we can respond by making our days count and reminding those who come after us to look to God as we have:
Show me, Lord, my life’s end
and the number of my days;
let me know how fleeting my life is.
You have made my days a mere handbreadth;
the span of my years is as nothing before you.
Everyone is but a breath,
even those who seem secure.
Surely everyone goes around like a mere phantom;
in vain they rush about, heaping up wealth
without knowing whose it will finally be.
But now, Lord, what do I look for?
My hope is in you.
—Psalm 39:4-7
Show me, Lord, my life’s end
and the number of my days;
let me know how fleeting my life is.
You have made my days a mere handbreadth;
the span of my years is as nothing before you.
Everyone is but a breath,
even those who seem secure.
Surely everyone goes around like a mere phantom;
in vain they rush about, heaping up wealth
without knowing whose it will finally be.
But now, Lord, what do I look for?
My hope is in you.
—Psalm 39:4-7
Whee Jim has written a collection of poems titled Itinerary, published by Word Image on June 28, 2024. “My wish is for my poems to connect, comfort, and even console those who are going through difficult times,” he says. Net proceeds will go to the Motor Neurone Disease Association.
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