Living with Disease,
and Drinking from
Jesus’ Deep Well
Living with Disease,
and Drinking from
Jesus’ Deep Well
Plagued by a chronic illness, Wendy Wong has discovered how she needs to depend on Jesus daily for strength and hope.
Eliza Tan
At the age of 19 and on the cusp of adulthood, Wendy Wong was full of hopes and dreams. Her future brimmed with possibilities and opportunities—getting a degree from a reputable university, meeting new friends, starting a career, and, perhaps, finding the right life partner.
But, into her second year of university, she began suffering from swollen joints which refused to subside. Blood tests revealed the cause—and bad news: Wendy had lupus, an autoimmune disease in which the body’s immune system attacks normal cells.
People with lupus can suffer a wide range of symptoms, from fatigue and rashes to muscle pain and swollen joints, which has earned the disease the nickname of “the disease with a thousand faces”.
The diagnosis pitched Wendy into a dark world of unknowns and painful realities.
The steroid medication she had to take gave her a bloated appearance even though she had a slender frame. It made her feel particularly self-conscious, especially when she had to meet people.
Once, the disease flared up, which left her weak, tired, and aching in the joints. “I remember days where I would wake up, and my hands were so swollen, I couldn’t squeeze toothpaste from the tube to brush my teeth,” she recalls.
Her calendar filled up with medical appointments: apart from scheduled appointments with different specialists, she often ended up cancelling social appointments when new symptoms emerged.
It left her with many unanswered, heart-wrenching questions, such as: Was her life always going to be like this? Could she date? Would she ever be able to get married and start a family?
The diagnosis pitched Wendy into a dark world of unknowns and painful realities.
The steroid medication she had to take gave her a bloated appearance even though she had a slender frame. It made her feel particularly self-conscious, especially when she had to meet people.
Once, the disease flared up, which left her weak, tired, and aching in the joints. “I remember days where I would wake up, and my hands were so swollen, I couldn’t squeeze toothpaste from the tube to brush my teeth,” she recalls.
Her calendar filled up with medical appointments: apart from scheduled appointments with different specialists, she often ended up cancelling social appointments when new symptoms emerged.
It left her with many unanswered, heart-wrenching questions, such as: Was her life always going to be like this? Could she date? Would she ever be able to get married and start a family?
Yet, in the 23 years since she was diagnosed with lupus, Wendy has not only encountered the many faces of the disease, but seen the “face of God”, she says.
“Living with lupus has taught me that illness can be a pathway to discovering myself and greater intimacy with God,” she says. “Not in spite of, but because of the affliction.”
Today, Wendy works and serves as a visual recorder. At conferences and workshops, her job is to listen to what is being said or discussed, synthesise the ideas, and translate them into captivating illustrations that capture what has been said. She has volunteered her skills at many organisations and events, including Our Daily Bread Ministries’ conferences.
At a recent meeting with a prayer group at a church, Wendy shared how life with lupus has taught her to “drink deeply from the well of living water”, a lesson inspired by the account of the Samaritan woman meeting Jesus by the well in John 4:2–26:
1. Loneliness at the Well
The woman whom Jesus met at the well was likely ostracised by her community. She had had five husbands, and her current partner was not her husband.
She was thirsty, not just physically, but also emotionally and spiritually.
The depth of the woman’s longing and loneliness is something that Wendy can identify with. She can understand the self-consciousness, the intensity of loneliness, and the pain of unanswered questions, such as:
“Why can’t I have a normal life?”
“Will people appreciate and value me as I am?”
“Do people understand what I’m going through and how I feel?”
Knowing that not everyone around her may react well to learning about illness, Wendy is discerning about with whom she shares more about her condition. “No one can fully understand, as much as they try to,” she says.
Sometimes, ironically, the loneliness comes from people taking too much care and making assumptions about what she can or cannot do. Once, she found out that she hadn’t been invited to her friends’ wedding reception because they thought that it might be too tiring for her.
Knowing that not everyone around her may react well to learning about illness, Wendy is discerning about with whom she shares more about her condition. “No one can fully understand, as much as they try to,” she says.
Sometimes, ironically, the loneliness comes from people taking too much care and making assumptions about what she can or cannot do. Once, she found out that she hadn’t been invited to her friends’ wedding reception because they thought that it might be too tiring for her.
Amid her depths of loneliness, Wendy has found freedom to be honest with God. She tells Him about how she feels, questions Him, and asks Him for strength.
Being able to share her pains and struggles openly with God—just as the Samaritan woman did with Jesus—gives Wendy great comfort.
She knows that God is always waiting for her at the well, ready with
Despite her struggles, Wendy has seen good come out of her lonely journey with lupus. “My posture before God has been shaped and informed by biblical truth and also by God’s presence and activity in my life,” she says.
2. Little Moments at the Well
The Samaritan woman was going about her ordinary routine when she met Jesus; the meeting was unexpected and unplanned, yet life-changing. In the same way, Wendy has found that Jesus meets her in her everyday life and routine.
“Jesus meets us at all our wells, and treats us with dignity and care. He initiates the meetings and comes to us. He exposes what we want to keep within and what we don’t want to face,” says Wendy.
She has learnt that if we, like the woman, are willing to respond to Jesus and relate with Him, we will also begin to find His healing in our deepest hurts and pain.
Wendy herself prays daily that God will help her to be attentive to and welcome the kairos, or divinely-appointed moments. These are the moments when God meets her, or when He is present in her interactions with others.
2. Little Moments at the Well
The Samaritan woman was going about her ordinary routine when she met Jesus; the meeting was unexpected and unplanned, yet life-changing. In the same way, Wendy has found that Jesus meets her in her everyday life and routine.
“Jesus meets us at all our wells, and treats us with dignity and care. He initiates the meetings and comes to us. He exposes what we want to keep within and what we don’t want to face,” says Wendy.
She has learnt that if we, like the woman, are willing to respond to Jesus and relate with Him, we will also begin to find His healing in our deepest hurts and pain.
Wendy herself prays daily that God will help her to be attentive to and welcome the kairos, or divinely-appointed moments. These are the moments when God meets her, or when He is present in her interactions with others.
Wendy herself prays daily that God will help her to be attentive to and welcome the kairos, or divinely-appointed moments. These are the moments when God meets her, or when He is present in her interactions with others.
So, long waits at the clinic become “weekday Sabbaths” which give her time to commune with God. Or, she might take the opportunity to share her story with fellow patients, or encourage others and be encouraged in return.
Journalling every day also helps Wendy to see God’s presence in her life as she tries to identify a “favourite moment” and looks for things to thank Him for. She prays to “be present to Him”, knowing that He is always present in her life.
She has also found Jesus waiting for her at personal retreats that allow her to spend uninterrupted time with God, and in Christian songs that she curates, which she draws much comfort from during her darkest moments.
Wendy finds these little moments in her relationships with friends as well. She reveals her deepest thoughts and feelings to trusted friends, who give her space to be vulnerable. As these friendships mature, Wendy finds that they can go beyond looking out for each other, to directing each other to God.
“As the friendship matures, we are encouraging one another to serve and to love,” she says. “We help pick each other up and spur one another to try again.”
Once, after pneumonia put Wendy into a coma for two weeks, her best friend came to cut her nails. “My best friend wanted me to look my best, even when I was sick,” she recalls. “More profoundly, it also told me that she believed I would wake up.”
That incident has inspired her to set a similar standard for her own friendship to others. She seeks to be a good nail cutter, she says half-jokingly—to be there to help friends when they are going through dark and difficult moments. It’s also something that she challenges others to do, saying: “What nail-cutting gestures can we offer to our friends?”
3. Recognising Jesus at the Well
At the well, Jesus knew the Samaritan woman’s needs and context, and met them exactly. He let her know that He was able to quench her thirst (John 4:14), and told her who He was: “I am He” (v. 26).
For Wendy, that is a comforting truth.
“Even if my needs and troubles remain, my hope is knowing who He is,” she says. “It changes everything.”
“Even if my needs and troubles remain, my hope is knowing who He is,” she says. “It changes everything.”
Through her struggles and suffering, God has revealed to Wendy, in many ways, who He is.
Though her ailment is invisible, she says, God has told her: “I am the God who sees you.”
Though the disease is incurable, He has assured her: “I am with you till the very end of the age.”
Though it is unpredictable, God has reminded her: “I do not change like shifting shadows.”
Though she has had to let go of her dreams, God has strengthened her with this truth: “I am your glory, and the lifter of your head.”
And, she adds, though her chronic disease might seem like a slow death sentence, God has made clear to her:
Deeply Well in Illness
Although Wendy continues to struggle with lupus and its effects on her life, her dreams, and everyday routine, knowing Jesus has changed everything for her. “Even when I’m ill, I can still be deeply well,” she says, explaining that even amid illness, she can still experience a contented and abundant life in Christ.
Just like the woman at the well who was satisfied by the living water provided by Jesus, Wendy has learnt to drink deeply from the comforting truths about God’s character and His presence in her life.
And, having drunk deeply, she believes that she needs to tell others her story.
“We tell our stories because we are really telling about God,” she says. “It’s the same God who is working in others’ lives, whether we are well or not so well.”
She adds: “By telling our stories, we are hoping to awaken or remind one another to look out for this God also. Then, they can be open and receptive to how God wants to encounter them at their wells, and quench their thirst, whatever their need may be.”
Wendy’s paper collage depicts Jesus’ encounter with the Samaritan woman from John 4. This, together with other collages, reflections and poems, is published in Pen & Paper: Creative Conversations, co-authored with Kenny Tan.
Deeply Well in Illness
Although Wendy continues to struggle with lupus and its effects on her life, her dreams, and everyday routine, knowing Jesus has changed everything for her. “Even when I’m ill, I can still be deeply well,” she says, explaining that even amid illness, she can still experience a contented and abundant life in Christ.
Just like the woman at the well who was satisfied by the living water provided by Jesus, Wendy has learnt to drink deeply from the comforting truths about God’s character and His presence in her life.
And, having drunk deeply, she believes that she needs to tell others her story.
“We tell our stories because we are really telling about God,” she says. “It’s the same God who is working in others’ lives, whether we are well or not so well.”
She adds: “By telling our stories, we are hoping to awaken or remind one another to look out for this God also. Then, they can be open and receptive to how God wants to encounter them at their wells, and quench their thirst, whatever their need may be.”
Wendy’s paper collage depicts Jesus’ encounter with the Samaritan woman from John 4. This, together with other collages, reflections and poems, is published in Pen & Paper: Creative Conversations, co-authored with Kenny Tan.
Eliza Tan is known by many names, but her favourite is ‘My beloved child’. Though she eats to live rather than lives to eat, she still enjoys her food and wholeheartedly agrees with Ecclesiastes 3:13, “That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God.”
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