An often-overlooked character in the Christmas story teaches this writer what it means to yield to God, even when life does not turn out the way as imagined.

Written by Eliza Tan
Illustrated by Lisa Saputra

Usually, I would skim through this episode about Joseph in the gospel of Matthew, but Elisa Morgan’s book Christmas Changes Everything helped me take a deeper look at his life. 

Joseph, hailing from the lineage of Abraham and David, was a virtuous man who was described as “faithful to the law” (Matthew 1:19). So, I can only imagine his shock upon receiving the news that his betrothed Mary was pregnant before they were properly wedded. 

As a man faithful to the Mosaic law, shouldn’t obedience bring blessings, and disobedience, curses? How was a man of faith supposed to see a blessing in his betrothed, pregnant with a child who was definitely not his?

Nothing was said of how he dealt with the feelings accompanying the news. It would have been justifiable if he was infuriated with Mary for her betrayal, grieved by the shattered dreams of having a “right” start for his marriage, and worried about how others would talk behind his back if word were to get out. 

Yet, none of those emotions interfered with his benevolent decision to divorce her quietly, so as to not subject Mary to public disgrace (Matthew 1:19). A vindictive husband could have called for his unfaithful wife to be punished by the law, which calls for the stoning of guilty adulterers. But not Joseph.

When an angel of the Lord revealed to Joseph God’s plan—how the child conceived in Mary was from the Holy Spirit and would be the Saviour of the world—he responded in obedience, taking Mary home to be his wife (Matthew 1:20–21). 

Morgan brought out insights on how we can respond to life’s unexpected twists through Joseph’s response. It revealed a man of character, shaped by the law he had been faithful to. Even when dealt with a shocking blow, his initial plan to discreetly break off the engagement revealed his mercy. 

Joseph showed us that living an upright life doesn’t buffer us from delays, diversions, and detours; dreams might even be extinguished. Yes, the gift of hindsight may eventually give us a glimpse of God’s plan behind our disappointments. And yes, knowing it might make following His will more direct. But, obeying might not be any easier.

In Joseph’s case, explaining the angel’s revelation to others could still invite ridicule and aspersions of impurity. Despite all this, Joseph’s obedience demonstrated a heart willing to yield to Him. He obeyed because he feared God more than man.

Despite his broken dreams, Joseph expressed a trust in the sovereign Lord through the acceptance of His will. Christ’s impending birth changed his plans, and he humbly and willingly yielded to God. 

To be honest, I don’t think I have Joseph’s readiness to trust and obey. Often, my unanswered prayers to which God answered ‘no’ are followed by questions of ‘why?’. I suspect that even if God were to explain His purposes to me, I might not easily accept them, and might even argue for my preferred way.

Often, I have had to learn the hard way that God’s ‘no’s are to expose the rebellion and resistance in my life. For example, it was only when I burned out at work that it occurred to me that I had based my worth on my performance. Or, the time when God closed certain doors in my life, which compelled me to see how proud I was in thinking that my plans were better than His.

Through His humbling, I am learning to surrender—acknowledging that He is God, and I am not. In this regard, I have much to learn from Jesus, who, in His blood-shedding anguish over the cup of suffering that He desired to pass, prayed “yet not my will, but yours be done” (Luke 22:42).

The gentleness and humility that brought Jesus to dwell among man and accompanied Him in His struggle in the Garden of Gethsemane are the same He exhorted His followers to learn, so that they may find rest for their souls (Matthew 11:29). I, too, need to emulate Jesus’ gentleness and humility to yield to God and rest in His plans.

Christmas changed Joseph as he yielded to God’s design. And, Christmas has changed us because Jesus came to reconcile us rebellious, wilful sinners back to God. 

As for those who are committed to following Jesus, Christmas changes us. For Christ entered our world, not only giving us the example of surrendering even in the midst of struggle, but also enabling us to embrace His will.