Dear Leaders,
Here’s Why You Need
to Suffer and How to
Suffer Well
Dear Leaders,
Here’s Why You Need
to Suffer and How to
Suffer Well
If leading is giving you angst and making you wonder why you are suffering, re-examining your call to leadership and drawing on biblical examples may help you find the strength to endure.
Eliza Tan
The first time I realised I didn’t want to be a leader was after I was appointed the head of a section. A shake-up in my department sent my director and her deputies to other parts of the organisation, leaving me to helm the rest of my team.
Having been in the department for barely a year, I felt completely out of my depth. Managing various projects at the same time, for a start, was tough.
But what troubled me even more was managing people: it was a responsibility that I honestly didn’t handle well. Too caught up with the projects, I expected the two colleagues reporting to me to continue with their usual work, with minimal directions.
That, however, didn’t happen. One resented me for not addressing what he saw as the other colleague’s tardiness, and even complained to the human resources (HR) department about my apparent leniency. The subsequent sessions with HR were, to put it mildly, unpleasant and humbling.
The leadership struggles deluged me and left me gasping—literally. The aggravating stress triggered a case of mild hyperventilation; an HR officer saw the need for another call, this time to express to me their concern over my health.
All these troubles made me begrudge my unwanted promotion as I blamed my predicament on the fickle office politics behind the restructuring. Thankfully, it ended a year later when another round of re-organisation allowed me to return to being an “individual contributor”, without any staff under me.
Naively, I had thought that leadership would come naturally to me, since I believed I had the necessary wits and skills under my belt. That episode, however, taught me otherwise. I discovered leadership demanded something more: suffering.
Suffering Comes From the Expectation-Reality Gap
So, why does leadership usually mean suffering? The link comes about because of the gap between expectations and reality that leaders are called to bridge.
Most endeavours at work involve goals and targets set by either bosses or ourselves. Yet, reality almost inevitably falls short of these expectations, giving rise to a gap.
“Disappointment is the gap that exists between expectation and reality,” says leadership author and pastor John C. Maxwell. Many would add that this gap also causes anxiety, stress, and frustration—the thorns and thistles produced by the ground after the curse on it (Genesis 3:16-17).
For some workers, the easiest way to reduce this gap—and the associated pain—is to lower expectations—whether it’s our own or our bosses’.
But leadership calls us to move the work forward to achieve the set goals, and “level-up” reality to close the gap. This requires hard work, which can lead to suffering. And the bigger the gap, the greater the work to do—and the more suffering we might experience.
Why Passion Is Needed
The question is: What enables us to lead, and to keep leading, while we are suffering? It is passion—and endurance—which are inseparable.
When we believe in something strongly enough, or have an unshakeable belief in it, it enables us to endure the pain that comes with its associated tasks.
Our Lord Jesus Christ himself is an example: because He believed fully in what He needed to do—sacrifice himself on the cross for our sake—He was able to endure the suffering of crucifixion. Incidentally, the word “passion” comes from the Latin word passio, which carries the notion of “that which must be endured”. It is why the suffering of Christ on the cross is often referred to as “the Passion of Christ”.
To lead with passion requires conviction in the cause, and the willingness to endure suffering.
We will meet with trials when we lead. And if we approach them without conviction, we will not be able to overcome the internal and external resistance that we will face.
Exhibiting Faith in Leadership
Fortunately, the Bible provides much guidance for suffering leaders.
Moses, for one, “chose to be ill-treated along with the people of God rather than to enjoy the fleeting pleasures of sin” (Hebrews 11:25; emphasis added). Accepting that his calling to lead entailed suffering, Moses endured various challenges, including complaints about insufficient food and drink by the Israelites (Exodus 15:24, 16:2, 17:3), blame for exposing them to the risk of death (14:11), loneliness in leading (18:13), and even opposition from his own siblings (Numbers 12:1).
What enabled Moses to choose—and endure—suffering was faith in the promises of God.
In terms of the number of mentions in the hall of faith in Hebrews 11, he ranks just behind Abraham. Moses could endure because he looked ahead to his reward and saw the invisible Lord (vv. 26–27).
Another mark of Moses’ leadership was how he stood in the gap by praying for those he led. After the Israelites fashioned the golden calf, Moses made atonement for their sin, and even risked his own salvation for their forgiveness as he pleaded for the Lord to be with them (Exodus 32:30–32, 34:9).
Psalm 106:23 notes: “Therefore He said that He would destroy them, if Moses, His chosen one, had not stood in the gap before Him, to turn away His wrath from destroying them” (NASB; emphasis added). Moses stood in the gap by intervening on behalf of the Israelites; as a leader he was prepared to sacrifice himself.
This was in stark contrast to many of Israel’s other spiritual leaders, including its priests and prophets, who failed in their duty to lead the nation in God’s righteousness and thus allowed sin to pervade the land. God judged them thus: “I looked for someone who might rebuild the wall of righteousness that guards the land. I searched for someone to stand in the gap in the wall so I wouldn’t have to destroy the land, but I found no one” (Ezekiel 22:30 NLT; emphasis added).
Leading through Delegating
If you’re thinking by now, But I am not a leader, consider this: many of us are actually leaders. You might not be a CEO or a department head, but you might be playing the role of a junior manager, small team leader, cell leader, Sunday school teacher, or others. You are a leader if you have taken on any role in which you are responsible for others’ growth and welfare.
Although you are prepared to suffer and endure in your leadership, don’t be a glutton for punishment by trying to do all the work on your own. Remember: Moses followed the advice of his father-in-law—delegate (Exodus 18:17–23). Looking back, I realised that because I didn’t know how to enlist my subordinates to meet the team’s objectives, I suffered more than necessary.
Leadership is not for the faint of heart, but with God’s help, we can rise to the challenge.
May our partnership with God testify of God’s transformative power to produce the character of Christ. And may we take comfort in His promise:
“I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. . . . We know that in everything God works for good with those who love him, who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the first-born among many brethren.”
—Romans 8:18, 28–29 (RSV; emphasis added)
Although Eliza Tan eats to live rather than lives to eat, she still enjoys her food and wholeheartedly agrees with Ecclesiastes 3:13, “That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God.”
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