[*The names of the countries and locations have been omitted to protect the ministries operating in these areas.]

After two years of preparation and one week of sailing, our ship finally arrived in the port of the country located somewhere on the African continent.* We were filled with much excitement, for this was a place we had been trying to reach for a long time.

I was then volunteering in a Christian organisation whose mission was to go around the world sharing the good news of Christ through events and biblical resources. It was thus very much in line with our mission to have made it to this country—it was the first time we were stepping onto that land, and we knew many there had yet to know about Jesus.

And so we looked forward to the programme that we had lined up for the next three weeks—opening a book exhibition, organising activities on the ship for visitors, visiting churches, and running evangelistic events.

The next morning, however, the government of the country told us to leave. Officials had heard rumours that a group opposed to what we did was planning to harm us. For our safety, they said, we should leave the port and berth out at sea. 

We were hugely disappointed, of course. It seemed like our mission had just failed. Not only that, the officials’ orders also left us in a quandary: our next port of call could receive us only in three weeks’ time. What could we do in the meantime?

That incident, which took place many years ago, showed me what it really meant to seek and submit to God’s will and to worship Him still—even when He said “no” to things that seemed to be good or even godly.

As our leaders called for round-the-clock prayer onboard the ship to seek God’s direction and ask Him to open doors for us to return to that land, I found myself wrestling with questions such as: 

These were the same questions I had once also asked when our ship was making her maiden voyage to another country that we had never visited.* It was something we were most excited about, but we were told that some of us were needed elsewhere at the same time, and would be deployed there instead. 

I had prayed to be allowed to stay on the ship, for I really wanted to visit the country we were heading to—but I was assigned to be taken off the ship for the alternate destination. Though I was disappointed at first, I learnt a valuable lesson on submission to God’s sovereignty—a lesson that prepared my heart for the latest challenge.

Just as we were still praying for open doors to return to the country we had left, a fellow ministry worker came forward to remind us about the story of Daniel’s three friends—Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego—and their refusal to bow to the golden image of King Nebuchadnezzar (Daniel 3:1–18). When told that they would be thrown into a blazing furnace for their disobedience, they responded with the greatest confidence: 

Wow, I thought, the Lord read my mind.

Although we were not in a furnace, we faced a similar question while stuck out at sea: Would God deliver us out of our “hot spot”? If He did not, would we still follow and worship Him as God? Would we be able to respond as Daniel’s three friends did and say: “The God we serve is able to deliver us, but even if He does not, we will not serve other gods”—these gods being, in this case, our human desires and personal preferences?

Or, would we feel cheated because He didn’t come through for us? 

After struggling with these questions for some time, I realised—after being convicted by the Spirit—that there was only one way to respond: I professed that God was worthy of my worship simply because of who He is, not because of what He could do for me.

I’m glad that God himself had led me to this conclusion, for, as it turned out, He did not answer our prayers for that country to let us back in. Instead, He led us to another country which had just emerged from a period of war. Despite us requesting to dock and disembark at the last minute, its government opened its doors to us. 

There, our ministry teams had many opportunities to share the gospel, a much-needed message of hope for a people group who was in great spiritual need. Just after we left, the country’s president—who had assumed his post just weeks earlier—was assassinated, which threw the nation into turmoil again. 

That’s when we realised that in His sovereignty and grace, God had directed us to this country and opened a door for us to sow the gospel seed in this very small window of peace.

Many years have passed since those two incidents—and many more of my prayers to God have gone unanswered as well. (Or, as some might point out, He has answered “no”.)

But, I often remind myself, many prayers have been answered, too. Though my life has not always been good and smooth-sailing, and God has sometimes chosen not to deliver me from difficult situations, He has always walked with me closely as I walked through these challenges. 

Indeed, the Lord has always reminded me that I can cling to Him—

even if

even if . . .

Over the years, knowing God better has helped me learn to submit to His will. Through His Word and personal experience of His hand in my life, I have discovered and affirmed that He is indeed sovereign: He controls everything, and nothing happens outside of His will. 

I have also experienced His love. Our heavenly Father only wills what is good for us, shaping us, His children, into the image of His Son (Romans 8:28-29). 

Whatever paths our journey takes in life, God has promised us His presence and protection. Sometimes, He rescues us from discomfort and unpleasantness; sometimes, He doesn’t. But we can always hold firmly to this truth: The God we serve loves us. He is with us in every fiery trial, through every even if. 

Even when He tells us “no” and we do not get what we want, God is forever worthy of our worship and devotion. May we continue to be faithful, just as He is always faithful.

Katherine Koh has been in full-time Christian ministry since 1980. Throughout these years, she has experienced God’s faithfulness in watching over her and keeping her in the faith. She loves driving and riding, playing with little children, fixing things, and moving furniture around her house. Although she’s a woman of action, Katherine would love to stay still and read more.