When “I Can’t” Became A Constant In My Life
When “I Can’t” Became A Constant In My Life
What do you do with that nagging voice that discourages you even before you try?
Natalie Yeo
A prominent voice that constantly echoes in my mind is none other than “I can’t.” This often grips my heart with fear and paralyses me with unbelief and distrust.
I can trace this voice back to my school days, when I failed almost all my Mathematics tests and exams from Primary 4 to Secondary 4. Yes, I failed Maths at both PSLE and the O Levels (Singapore’s major school examinations at ages 12 and 16).
And when I entered the workforce, the refrain of “I can’t” continued to echo in my head: I can’t handle difficult conversations, I can’t lead this small team, or I can’t take on bigger roles or heavier responsibilities. The instinctive response was either freeze or flight.
Maybe you can identify with me, as you fight the voice of “I can’t” in your daily situations. And these are not limited to situations where you question if you are able; the voice also shows up when you struggle with willingness—forgiving or apologising to your loved one, showing love to a friend whom you’ve grown distant from, or speaking up for wrongs that need to be made right—and you too are riddled with the question on how to overcome it.
Through my struggles, I learnt these three valuable lessons:
If I fix my eyes on defeat, I will never be able to see God’s grace and victory. On the other hand,
with my eyes fixed on Jesus,
I will see what He can do,
rather than what I cannot do.
This led me to wonder: how then can the voice of “I can” become the louder and greater constant in my life?
Each time I heard the voice of “I can’t” badgering me to give up on a seemingly unsolvable problem, I would pause and question whose voice was speaking to me.
I learnt to discipline myself to take time away from the issue and catch my breath with the Lord. In bringing these hard situations before God, I remind myself that it is Philippians 4:6 in action—to be anxious for nothing and in all things, through prayer and supplication to present my requests before Him.
Once I’m able to lay down the heavy “I can’t”, room is made in my mind and heart to receive God’s insight regarding the situation.
Most times, I found myself hearing one of these three voices:
This voice often creeps up with intention to ensnare us in guilt, shame, and deceit. It causes us to slip into procrastination and defeat as we doubt ourselves and the goodness of God.
I often fell for the many lies that convinced me that I could not have one more difficult conversation as I strove to manage a team. Once I bought into the lie, this accusing voice would try to make me waver even more, telling me, “God must be disciplining you. You must have done something wrong for Him to put you through this.” In that moment, I’d know exactly who was talking to me—it surely wasn’t God.
This voice always seeks to lure us away from what truly matters. It is distracting and often imposes unhealthy expectations upon ourselves.
I vividly recall the season where I served full-time in youth ministry. It was ironic that though I worked in church, I often felt very distant from God whenever an impossible situation or “ministry heartbreak” (youth or family challenges) arose. Inadequacy often ate at me as I humanly attempted to intervene and bring it to a peaceful resolution. This only emphasized my self-reliance and lack of dependence and trust in God.
This is the voice of truth—firm, authoritative, encouraging, sometimes quiet, but mainly enclosed in love, just as a father would speak to his child.
Do you believe in what the Bible says? John 1:1 says, “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.” The Word is God! So remember:
When fear is wrapped in “I can’t,” God says, “Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous hand” (Isaiah 41:10). And “My perfect love casts out all fear” (1 John 4:18).
When inadequacy says, “I can’t,” God says, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9).
When faithlessness says, “I can’t,” God says, “If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you” (Matthew 17:20).
When hopelessness magnifies the “I can’t,” God says, “(You) have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure” (Hebrews 6:19).
It might seem impossible at first, but attuning ourselves to hear His voice will become easier as we persevere in fostering our spirits to renew our mind with His Word and tune out the voices of the world and the evil one.
3. Decide whom you will obey
I remember how my relationship with my father became strained after I continuously failed Maths in my school days. Fear accompanied me whenever I approached him to sign my report card. I struggled with his persistent comparisons of me with my peers and my elder brother. Unforgiveness and anger rankled my heart as I battled the thought that my own father did not believe in me, even when I gave my best.
During a church camp, when my pastor sensed strongly that some of us needed to release forgiveness to our parents, the words “I can’t” resounded in my heart and all the negative memories triggered tears that quickly stained my eyes.
However, in that moment the Holy Spirit gently encouraged me in tender love.
As I sensed Him clasp my naked heart, I plucked up my courage and called my father. I remember the fear that made me quiver inside, but more importantly,
the freedom from unforgiveness and anger when I said these three words to him: “I love you.”
That fateful evening, I learnt the power of an intentional decision to choose obedience instead of resistance. When God counters the devil’s voice of “I can’t”, would you choose to obey and believe that with Him in you, you unwaveringly can?
As I reflected on the life of Christ, I cannot imagine what would have become of the human race if Jesus had said, “I can’t,” when He stared death in the eye at the cross. It humbles and encourages me to know that Jesus knew He could endure the cross, because His Father said so.
Years on, I can more confidently say I have grown spiritual resilience in handling the “I can’t” thoughts that creep up within me. At work, I constantly remind myself to stay connected to what the Holy Spirit may be saying to me or nudging my heart to pay attention to. In so doing, He lovingly intervenes and helps me hear His voice before any other voice gets to accuse or attack me!
Even though everything in you right now may be screaming “I can’t,” hone in on the still voice that tells you, “God can.” You have been empowered to say, “I can,” because your Father says He can!
This was first published on selah.sg and adapted with permission.
Natalie is an introvert, yet loves investing intentional time on people. Her favourite colour is red, yet her wardrobe is filled with hues of blue. She is an open well when it comes to meeting and embracing girls with histories that can be transformed to become His stories.
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