How Can I Learn To Pray?

When Jesus’ disciples asked Him, “Lord, teach us to pray” (Luke 11:1), they were making a request that should find resonance with our own hearts. It has been said that, if the scriptures are the spiritual nourishment our hearts crave, then prayer is the very breath we breathe.

Clearly, that makes praying a pretty significant part of walking with God. So, where do we start?

Writer and scholar C. S. Lewis once said: “The first qualification for judging any piece of workmanship from a corkscrew to a cathedral is to know what it is—what it was intended to do and how it is to be used.”

This applies to prayer as well. What is prayer for? Why does it matter? Where does it come from? These are questions that we can reflect on as we consider how to allow our good Lord to teach us to pray.

Understanding the Purpose of Prayer

“Why bother? Isn’t praying just talking to a God who has already decided what He wants to do anyway?” That was what a friend once remarked to me. My response to him was simple. “If prayer was about talking God into doing things, then yes, why bother? But that isn’t what it’s about.”

If we notice the example of Jesus, we find times that He prayed for himself (Luke 22:41–44), times that He prayed for others (John 11:41–42), and times when He prayed for us (John 17:20–21). But that is only one facet of how He prayed.

Much of Jesus’ praying seems to have been focused on simply being in communion with His Father. Repeatedly, especially before key moments in His ministry, Jesus would retreat to a solitary place and spend a night in prayer—talking to the Father about the things He was facing (see Luke 6:12).

It would appear that this was typical of Jesus’ incarnate experience, in which communion with His Father was a routine, repeated, and relished experience.

The same is true for us. The purpose of prayer is to let us come into the presence of our God, and simply be with Him in fellowship and sharing. As we pour our hearts out to Him, we find strength for the journey in His faithful love and care.

Understanding the Essence of Prayer

In my conversations with others about prayer, I’ve heard quite a variety of views of what prayer is. They include: Prayer is . . .

I would suggest, however, that none of these descriptions really get to the heart of what prayer is. While none of these answers is incorrect or unscriptural, they are incomplete because they fail to go deep enough.

Why? Because while these are useful and accurate descriptions of how prayer functions, they do not really speak to what prayer really is.

To be sure, prayer can function as an act of thanksgiving. Or, it can function as a season of worship, or of praise, or of confession. That is what prayer does . . . but it is not what prayer is.

It seems to me that, at its core, prayer is very simple.

Prayer is acknowledging our dependence upon God. It is accepting in our own hearts and minds what is patently obvious—that we need Him.

Whenever we bow our heads, get on our knees, or assume any prayer posture, we are acknowledging what God already knows: Life is too big for us, and we need Him.

So, we go to God with all of the big and little, annoying and overwhelming, joyous and heartbreaking things of life, knowing confidently that there is nothing in life that is too big for Him. He is more than sufficient for all the things of life—and so we pray to Him, reliant upon His grace and power and care.

This is the essence of prayer, and the ultimate “why” behind the “what” of prayer’s activity.

Understanding the Heart of Prayer

As we have noticed, Jesus had, at times, prayed for Himself. The most notable of these times came when He bowed in the garden of Gethsemane the night before the cross.

As the Son sought the Father in His most crucial moment of need, we find what, at its core, is the very heartbeat of prayer—trusting God Hhimself for the outcomes.

Three times Jesus presented His request, and three times He added: “Yet not what I will, but what You will” (Mark 14:36).

The heart of prayer, then, is this:

We not only bring our needs and concerns to God because we want to be in His presence and because He is greater and we need Him, but we also come to Him because we trust Him.

We trust that God loves us and knows what is best for us. So, as we lay before Him the things that weigh on our hearts, we have confidence that His great love for us can be trusted.

This is why Paul reminds us that, as we pray, we can say, “Abba, Father” (Romans 8:15). We pray to the Father whose love for us is eternal and unchanging—and who knows what is best for us and for those around us.

Prayer exists to allow us to turn to our Father, know Him, and trust Him with our deepest needs and greatest longings. Prayer draws us to the presence of our good, good Father.