Emotions can draw us closer to God . . . or keep us from obeying Him. How can we manage our feelings so that they do not become an obstacle in our life in Christ?

Eliza Tan

My pastor’s words left some of us in the congregation squirming in our seats. The illustration he added only served to hit each of us harder.

“Sometimes, we wake up telling ourselves, ‘I don’t feel like going to work or to school’. But we get up and do so anyway. We drag ourselves to work or to school because we know what the consequences are if we don’t go. Our rational mind overcomes our feelings.”

“But when we tell ourselves, ‘I don’t feel like praying’, we allow our feelings to have the final say,” the pastor added.

Nervous laughter rippled across the church sanctuary. I’m not sure about the others, but I knew all too well what he meant. It’s a thought familiar to me.

The sermon left me pondering on how my own feelings have often affected my faith and obedience to God. And it’s not just about praying. I can think of the many instances when I allowed my feelings to undermine my submission to God.

Such as when I simmered in anger and didn’t want to forgive a friend for her hurtful words.

Or when I lashed out at a vendor out of frustration for a late delivery.

Or when I refused to read the Bible . . . simply because I didn’t feel like doing it.

Such episodes made me wonder: If my feelings affect my obedience to God, should I ignore them? If I do not feel enthusiastic about serving, should I still serve out of obligation?

As I went to the Bible to see how emotions are expressed by those who seek God, however, I discovered this truth:

Mankind feels because we are made in the image of God (Genesis 1:27). Our Creator has emotions and is not afraid to express them. In Faithful Feelings: Rethinking Emotion in the New Testament, Christian author Matthew Elliott writes: “God’s emotions were based on his perfect character. . . . God’s emotions flowed naturally and reasonably out of both his love and holiness.”

Our emotions can be good, too. They can turn us towards God, to love Him with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength (Mark 12:30). Emotions can also motivate us to love our neighbours through action, for example, by praying and caring for them. They can help us connect with others, enabling us to rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn.

Of course, our emotions can also be influenced by our self-centred nature, which explains bitterness, envy, and many other feelings. But as new creations in Christ, we can let His Spirit direct our desires and attitudes to shape our emotions (Romans 8:5–6).

God’s emotions are unlike ours in this important way: they do not lead to impetuous or unrighteous behaviour. God, along with His emotions and actions, is perfect and holy. His emotions also not volatile, vulnerable, or influenced by things or situations.

In contrast, our feelings can be fickle and lead to unhealthy or unrighteous behaviour.

Feeling angry at my friend’s nasty words was legitimate. But instead of forgiving her, I gave the devil a foothold to let bitterness grow in my heart.

Feeling frustrated over a delivery that was later than promised was valid. But releasing my displeasure through harsh words can exasperate the recipient and is unkind.

Feeling unmotivated, whether it was to read the Bible or pray, was not necessarily wrong in itself; I am sure many people grapple with such feelings from time to time.

But what mattered was how I responded. In hindsight, perhaps my emotions were signposts, indicating that I needed to get more rest, or to reflect on my own motivations. Or they were revealing a heart that was slowly turning cold.

Such experiences remind me that I need to continually allow the Word of God to transform me, and to surrender my unruly mind, heart, and will to Christ, as The Message renders 2 Corinthians 10:5,

Samson serves as the prime example of what happens when one is controlled by impulsive emotions. When the Philistines mocked him, he allowed his anger to drive him to a series of violent and vindictive acts, which made him a target of his enemies (see Judges 14–16).

The Bible, however, teaches believers not to react out of our emotions. For example, we are to be slow to anger and not stay angry (James 1:19; Ephesians 4:26). As Bible scholar Douglas Moo notes, “While James does not forbid all anger (there is a place for ‘righteous indignation’), he does prohibit the thoughtless, unrestrained temper that often leads to rash, harmful and irretrievable words.”

Instead of letting our emotions cause us to behave impulsively like Samson, we can ask God for His help to understand why we feel what we feel, and respond in ways that please Him.

Psychiatrist Viktor Frankl, who suffered under the Nazis during the Holocaust, knows how hard it can be to control one’s emotions. He says: “Between the stimulus and response, there is a space. And in that space lies our freedom and power to choose our responses.”

Our life of faith is more than what we feel, author and theologian C.S. Lewis explained in Mere Christianity: “Nobody can always have devout feelings, and even if we could, feelings are not what God principally cares about.”

Instead, he says, we are to love with a deliberate, conscious will. He explained:

“Christian Love, either towards God or towards man, is an affair of the will. If we are trying to do His will we are obeying the commandment, ‘Thou shalt love the Lord thy God.’ He will give us feelings of love if He pleases. We cannot create them for ourselves, and we must not demand them as a right. But the great thing to remember is that, though our feelings come and go, His love for us does not.”

Sometimes, I try to push back against my feeling of “I don’t feel like praying.” This practice of agere contra, or “to act against” unhealthy tendencies, was taught by Ignatius of Loyala, a 16th-century priest and theologian known for his spiritual exercises to draw closer to God.

I’ve personally experienced God’s grace after acting against my apathy by committing one minute to prayer, even when I do not feel like it. More often than not, that one minute stretches into three, or even five, and I find my spirit lifted through the communion with the Lord.

And I’ve discovered that feelings can serve us, inviting us to turn to God in prayer when we are feeling disturbed, listless, or anxious.

I’ve learnt—and am still learning—that emotions, which mirror my values, thoughts, and energy, can be my friend.