Although he had identified himself as a Christian since young, Daniel’s understanding of the faith had never gone beyond the level of simple Bible stories and children’s songs.

When he was three, his parents divorced, and he remained with his father. But soon after, the latter was jailed for 10 years—for reasons that his son never asked. Daniel ended up staying in a children’s home run by a Christian organisation.

It was there that Daniel first came to hear about God, and learn to pray and read the Bible at Sunday school. “But I didn’t understand the fundamentals of Christianity,” he confesses.

After he passed the age of 12, Daniel could no longer stay in the children’s home, so he left and moved in with a family friend. There, he was given something that most teenagers crave: freedom. Daniel immediately revelled in this gift by skipping school.

Matters got worse when his guardian had troubles of his own and was unable to care for Daniel. To survive, Daniel started stealing money to feed himself. Thus was his “survival instinct” born. “I told myself, ‘Got money; no problem’,” says Daniel.

His crimes soon escalated to robbery and loan-shark running, and he eventually ended up in the Boys’ Town, Boys Home, and Reformative Training Centre—virtually all the corrective measures a youth offender could get.

When he was 15 years old, he ran away from the Boys Home to look for his father, whom he knew had been released from prison. The search proved futile, leaving Daniel with a feeling of inexplicable loss.

Entering adulthood, Daniel found yet another fast and easy way to make money: drug trafficking. But the law caught up with him again, and he was sentenced to jail for five years and given six strokes of the cane. The harsh punishment woke him up. “In my heart, I knew I couldn’t stay like this anymore,” says Daniel.

During his time in prison, Daniel took his N-Levels, attended Christian counselling, and joined the in-prison worship team.

Back to Crime

While staying in a Christian halfway house after his release, Daniel found his father, and helped him move into a rental unit. “Even though he was not around for most part of my life, I wanted to show him some filial piety,” he explains.

Daniel thought that he could stay on the straight and narrow path, but once again, worldly temptations proved to be too strong. Working and staying at the halfway house earned him little, and he yearned to have more money. After three short months, he moved out and returned to loan shark activities.

The hours were short, and the money was fast—but he was soon brought to justice again.

When Daniel appeared before the judge, the latter pointed out that between leaving the halfway house and returning to court, Daniel had spent less than six months as a free man. “Your record is better than the Olympics,” he remarked.

The judge warned Daniel that he would consider imposing corrective training, which meant a jail term of up to 12 years. Daniel was shocked, as it meant losing his freedom for a very long time.

In the days leading up to the verdict, Daniel fasted and pleaded with God for one last chance. And in His mercy, God answered his prayer: Daniel was handed a jail term of five months.

A Long Way Home

After Daniel was released from jail, he was determined to make good. And for the next 10 years, he succeeded in “clean living”. He even started his own business selling stainless steel equipment.

Things went well for a period—until the Covid-19 pandemic struck. When his business suffered, Daniel began gambling for recreation as well as fast money. It quickly became an addiction, and Daniel blew his six-figure savings.

At this point, he was overwhelmed by fear. “I thought I’d lost everything, and I’d have to return to the old days,” he recalls.

One night, he stood in the balcony of his apartment and contemplated two choices: he could either jump, or return to selling drugs. There seemed to be no other way out.

Then, a still, small voice told him: “Call Yong Wei.”

Bewildered, Daniel thought about Wong Yong Wei, an ex-gang member he had befriended in his teens and with whom he had reconnected through social media. He knew that Yong Wei, a Christian, was working at the Prison Fellowship Singapore (PFS), a Christian ministry.

Following that prompting, Daniel met Yong Wei, who advised him to take a practical approach: start over and build his finances again by taking on gig jobs.

The very idea of becoming a driver, however, seemed demeaning, and Daniel left the meeting feeling insulted. “I’m a boss now,” he said to himself, “how can I be a private-hire or delivery driver?”

In the subsequent weeks, Yong Wei followed up with him and persuaded Daniel that he had nothing left to lose except his pride. He also urged Daniel to call out to God, but Daniel resisted. “In my mind, I retorted, ‘I was a Christian before you were!’”

“But one day, I just ‘woke up’,” Daniel adds. Taking Yong Wei’s advice, he took up delivery and private-hire jobs while continuing his business.

Although the various jobs occupied his time, it still did not take away the emptiness that Daniel felt. Apart from clearing his debt, he had no real purpose or goal in life. The relationship he was in gave him only heartaches and frustration.

Once again Daniel contacted Yong Wei, who invited him to join a PFS support group. The meeting ignited something in him: a focus on something other than himself. He found a community who understood his struggles and gave him an avenue to know God deeper.

He started to join them regularly as he enjoyed the fellowship of ex-inmates. And, at their encouragement, he even joined them at church.

Like the wayward son in the parable of the prodigal son who returned to the father after his attempt at “independent” living failed miserably (Luke 15:11–31), Daniel’s change of heart might have been born out of desperation. But these first steps, in the right direction, brought him closer to his waiting Father.

Addressing the Issue at Heart

After returning to the Father’s house, Daniel’s next step was getting to know His heart. The real turning point in his walk with God, he reckons, was attending a programme run by the Tung Ling Bible School in 2023. Lessons from “The Father Heart of God”, a module taught by the late missionary Joseph Chean, illuminated Daniel’s mind and burned in his heart.

Looking back on his past life, Daniel realises that he had compared God to his own father—negligent and absent. Not experiencing parental love first-hand had prevented him from enjoying a relationship with his heavenly Father.

And while he had once blamed God for creating him and leaving him to his own devices, he now understands that God was not the cause of his chequered past. Rather, he acknowledges that he had misused God’s gift of free will. “I have to take responsibility for my own bad choices,” he says.

Daniel also knows that God had not left him alone. God had revealed himself through His Son, who served, suffered, and sacrificed himself on the cross, and through those events the Father was glorified. Daniel believes that he, too, can glorify God—not despite his trials, but because of them. His story of redemption, he says, demonstrates his Father’s mercy and grace.

Just as the father in the parable of the prodigal son rejoices in his return, Daniel experiences a keen sense of God’s acceptance through the Holy Spirit.

However, while he experienced healing for his emotional wounds, Daniel has one regret. “My father died in 2017. I wish I had spent more time with him,” he says wistfully.

Today, he still wrestles with God whenever he’s tested. “I’ve learnt not to ask ‘why’, but ‘how’. I want to know how to overcome the trials and myself,” Daniel says.

“When I remember my Father’s heart, I want to glorify Him.”